Then there is always an acknowledgement of how great it is that I am putting myself out there for all the other women who are going through or may go through this in their life. And that is one benefit of this blog, but if I’m being honest, the real reason I have been so deliberate and consistent with maintaining the blog is for my daughters.
One day when I am well again, and all of this is behind me, it will still hold a deep memory for them. It will be a year of their childhood that was spent while cancer visited us. The year that mom lost her hair and it came back silver. The year mom had surgery with scars that healed slowly. The year mom occasionally had enough pain or discomfort that they had to go fetch my medicines. The year mom constantly asked them to turn the fan on and off with every heat flash. The year mom wasn’t in a great mood all of the time and not able to spend as much time with them as she should. When they are older, they will understand.
When they are older, even young women, they will have to take extra precautions to be very aware of the signs of breast cancer themselves. While I don’t have the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes, there are clearly other genes at work exist that flipped on one day in my body. If that is true, then those genes may be within them, and they may one day also go through this.
I write this blog with them in mind with every word.
I have documented the pathology of the cancer, every blood count, every surgery or procedure, every surgical photo, every side effect, every chemotherapy session, every radiation session, and really anything that I hope will be useful for them if they ever go through this.
So while I write with humor on occasion, I take this disease very seriously, and my treatment very seriously. I have chosen to have the most extreme treatments available for the type of breast cancer I have. I do this with the hopes that I won’t have a recurrence, and that cancer will have visited my household and family for the last time.
Emma and Erin, my precious girls, this is for you.
